Hello web, doing a little summer recap since i've been away for so long... I returned back after a 9 month internship abroad that nuked my mental health. I've spent the entire summer trying to recover and now I have to get back to looking for work...:|

First- I went to Spa-Francorchamps for the Belgian Grand Prix! holy shit. I thought i'd be watching a race but the atmosphere, community and everything just made it such a big experience beyond that. Really hope it's not the last time I do something like this. myself and a friend of mine are considering saving up for Monza next, I'd also like to see Silverstone one day. That same friend visited me here for my birthday, and we went on a 4-day backpack hike of a bit over 100km, with tent and everything. I'd love to do more like this. We also went to pride and met with a bunch of old friends, all from different times in my life, but i really enjoy being able to bring people together like that.

Also hoping to start volunteering (if mental health allows it). Applied for one local community initiative and there's a communal dining thing gathering soon that I will check out as well.

Finally our tales from the loop campaign ended for good last week:') I might do some final updates on my TTRPG art page as/if I finish up some old sketches. Sad because it's such a big creative outlet for me. I haven't been doing much art at all this year, I hope I can get back to working on my point and click game soon (I made some progress but then got stuck due to all the burnout...)

Media log

So i'm a Nolan apologist. but what the fuck was the odyssey. granted I was on 3 hours of sleep watching it in the cinema but I was losing my mind. I genuinely disliked the costuming (execution, not because it was historically inaccurate or whatever), got tired of Matt Damon's caucasian ass macho-ing out, and what did they do to my beloved Athena?? they really had Zendaya sit in a bedsheet and shake her head about the woes of violence, and that's supposed to be my goddess of strategy and warfare who orchestrates the whole story? i was fuming all the way home.

On the audio drama side I finished the Bright Sessions after many years of having it on my to-listen. I liked it, but (spoiler warning) having the character in most dire need of therapy become the villain to literally everyone in the story INCLUDING THE THERAPIST left me very conflicted. Also, since I have some 1000+ hours under my belt of audio dramas I'm thinking of putting a small page on this website somewhere about my top picks...maybe.

Starting our second Ursula K. Le Guin novel for book club, pretty excited for that as well.

Back to write a small entry on a little on-going project of mine - being more conscious about my digital life.

I was especially annoyed with my reliance on services from google, microsoft and adobe, as well as streaming services. I also wanted to avoid ai features and have more data stored under local laws. I don't have much knowledge on tech, so to the trained eye this is probably very basic and probably off-track! But the journey in changing my habits has been pretty interesting. I have tried looking for services that are open source, privacy-oriented, environmentally friendly and hosted either in my country or in the EU.

Email: I've had my email on google basically since gmail was launched. I instead donated to have an account created with a small local initiative in my country (not available in English). It's a small non-profit collective which runs their server on solar power. How cool is that? Tuta is also an alternative from Germany focused on encryption and run on renewable energy, and it has a calendar function.

Browser: The spyware watchdog neocities pagehas an entry on mitigation for firefox. There are so many alternatives out there, but I think I'm ok for now.

Search engine: I still need to try some things out since DDG is apparently not it anymore. For now I'm trying qwant.

Podcasts: I'm currently trying AntennaPod, which is open-source.

Music: This one is so tricky. I want to avoid streaming entirely, but it will take a while to recreate my library + I will need an MP3 player with enough space for it. I'm going home soon and will see if I have some old devices still lying around.

Cloud storage: I now have a good old fashioned encrypted usb flash drive in my keychain to always have my work on hand:D lol

Notes & indexing: I've started a library using tomboy-ng. I have used notebooks throughout all my studies, so it's nice to finally organise everything in a... lightweight format. I keep it synced with the flashdrive.

Task management: TAPE is a really cool and aesthetic little project management application available on itch.io. Or I just do spreadsheets.

Graphic design: This one is tough. I have to use adobe for work. I tried to use affinity but it has been acquired by canva. Not sure where to go from here.

Collective editing: Ellipsus is anti-ai and privacy focused but under US law.

I still have to change my private text editing and spreadsheeting habits. My colleagues in Germany now use LibreOffice (one of the reasons I got really caught up in this project is because we always have file sharing issues haha). Changing operating systems is a bit over my head, but I'd like to learn. Finally, my phone and laptop are both at their limit being 8-10 years old, but when I have the resources I have some slightly more sustainable alternatives in mind.

Not a digital habit – but I travel a lot and have managed to travel between countries almost entirely by train!:)

other updates...

I've recently had so much fun writing in inky. The process itself is so smooth that I ended up totally redesigning some short stories as interactive fiction. I might publish some of it, or I might not. We'll see! ⃪ trying not to cast the curse of "I mentioned I was creating something, so now it'll never be finished"

media log...

I watched a lot of films recently, but the czech film Summer School 2001 was shown at a film festival some time ago. It's about the vietnamese minority in the czech republic. It was just amazing from beginning to end, I really recommend watching it. Also finished a few more books with my book club, which is always fun. Finally I went to a concert with one of my recent favourite bands (I shan't name which) and was a bit disappointed. I went by myself, they only played for 45 minutes and everyone in the crowd was like 2m tall so I couldn't see shit

🖋 New year, sense of permanence, and inertia

Hello web and happy new years! I saw the year change from the top of a university rooftop we snuck onto. It was one of the better new year's eves! I spent most of the holidays at my family home, which usually means getting extremely addicted to wringing dopamine out of some video game. This time it was No Man's Sky and I will miss it sorely as I go back to my own flat:D

I'm committed to making this year at least slightly better than 2025. Last year ended up being awful, and after some thought I have come up with some things to improve. I currently work with mostly administrative stuff in an area I'm not completely familiar with, so I want to be better at reminding myself of what I actually do well. I'll look for more validation and regain my interest in the areas I'm more inclined towards. I'd like to subscribe to some magazines and generally spend more time on learning, reading and creating.

I think I struggle with not having a permanent sense of self...It's one of the reasons I use this site actively–reading through old logs and drawings helps a lot to remind myself of who the hell I am, what I do. If I'm away from my drawings, things I've written down or even my reflection in the mirror, it just doesn't stay. So I'll try to keep more material records so I can keep myself rooted.

I'll also work on inertia, which has been a pain in my ass for ages. I also see it referred to as executive dysfunction or decision paralysis. I struggle starting tasks and stopping once I've started. I think rigid routines will help somewhat. And I'll get more physically active, like going back to running twice a week and hiking in the weekends.

Media consumption log

Apart from No Man's Sky I finished playing Pentiment which I really respect for its visual style, and it had a bibliography in the credits?! As for TV I started the Swedish crime drama Beck with the first 3 episodes from 1997. I found it to be very in touch with social issues and cultural underground of the 90s which got me really hooked – in the same way that I really enjoyed Cry of Fear which I wrote about here a while ago and which left me with a strange nostalgia for the 00s (speaking of, the creator is working on a new game!!) I'd like to read and compare the series with the books which are much older, I think from the 70s. I also started Dynastiet Mærsk which gives a historically accurate look into one of the most world's most powerful shipping companies. I feel uncomfortable watching the reality of power, but it makes it easier to reflect on current events in a way. Finally I watched The Black Madonna from 2007, absolutely hilarious action comedy that I had somehow never heard of.