🖋 New year, sense of permanence, and inertia

Hello web and happy new years! I saw the year change from the top of a university rooftop we snuck onto. It was one of the better new year's eves! I spent most of the holidays at my family home, which usually means getting extremely addicted to wringing dopamine out of some video game. This time it was No Man's Sky and I will miss it sorely as I go back to my own flat:D

I'm committed to making this year at least slightly better than 2025. Last year ended up being awful, and after some thought I have come up with some things to improve. I currently work with mostly administrative stuff in an area I'm not completely familiar with, so I want to be better at reminding myself of what I actually do well. I'll look for more validation and regain my interest in the areas I'm more inclined towards. I'd like to subscribe to some magazines and generally spend more time on learning, reading and creating.

I think I struggle with not having a permanent sense of self...It's one of the reasons I use this site actively–reading through old logs and drawings helps a lot to remind myself of who the hell I am, what I do. If I'm away from my drawings, things I've written down or even my reflection in the mirror, it just doesn't stay. So I'll try to keep more material records so I can keep myself rooted.

I'll also work on inertia, which has been a pain in my ass for ages. I also see it referred to as executive dysfunction or decision paralysis. I struggle starting tasks and stopping once I've started. I think rigid routines will help somewhat. And I'll get more physically active, like going back to running twice a week and hiking in the weekends.

Media consumption log

Apart from No Man's Sky I finished playing Pentiment which I really respect for its visual style, and it had a bibliography in the credits?! As for TV I started the Swedish crime drama Beck with the first 3 episodes from 1997. I found it to be very in touch with social issues and cultural underground of the 90s which got me really hooked – in the same way that I really enjoyed Cry of Fear which I wrote about here a while ago and which left me with a strange nostalgia for the 00s (speaking of, the creator is working on a new game!!) I'd like to read and compare the series with the books which are much older, I think from the 70s. I also started Dynastiet Mærsk which gives a historically accurate look into one of the most world's most powerful shipping companies. I feel uncomfortable watching the reality of power, but it makes it easier to reflect on current events in a way. Finally I watched The Black Madonna from 2007, absolutely hilarious action comedy that I had somehow never heard of.